if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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