Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize