My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Rumble strips road head = magical
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
