Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Randomize
