OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
