He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize