Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
