Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize