I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize
