Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize
