Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
