Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
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