All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
how drunk are you?
Several
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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