do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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