My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
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