Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
sex in a hospital.. check
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
