in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Randomize
