i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
He better not be in your backpack
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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