have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize