we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
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