he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
The air was thick with penises
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Randomize
