Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
