i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
