So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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