Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
