I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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