there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
