Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
i out mim tonsoeep
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize