im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
