we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
We talked him into tasing himself.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Your cock deserves a montage
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
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