my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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