Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I think a kid would responsible me up
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
