Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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