New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
