Well douche your snatch and let's go!
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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