My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
i came on her dog
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
