he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize