please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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