so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
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