she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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