so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
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