I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
