My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
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