Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
