it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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