There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
