i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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