That's intense
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
