Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
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