I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Terrible idea I love it
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
