Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
It's rum buckets o'clock
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
