If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Randomize
