Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
