Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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