Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
