You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
then he tried to convert me to islam
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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