First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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