The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Randomize
