i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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